Thought for Week #24 and Week #25 of 2013!

Here I go again - Writing for 2 weeks at a time because I am always exhausted... or maybe just lazy?  I will stick with exhausted - it sounds better then saying that I may or may not be lazy.

We have had a busy day... week.... life!  We seem to be busy, but yet, I feel like we really haven't done much.  Brennon has been busy with projects around the house, and I have been busy staying as stress-free as possible.  :)  These babies haven't been born yet and they already have us wrapped around their tiny fingers with their tiny fingernails - just beginning to grow this week.

Our babies did meet the 12 week mark last Saturday - Week #24.  I can only imagine how much they are growing.  As last week came to an end, I was reminded again how much these babies are making me ill.  I am pretty sure that morning sickness is supposed to be gone at the end of the first trimester - and here it is just showing up.  I have had horrible vertigo this week.  It makes me extremely nervous to drive out of town. Sorry Brennon, I guess you will continue to be my chauffeur.  

And here we are - Week #13 - Today, I had my 2nd appointment with the perinotologist in Des Moines for my pre-op appointment.  I am beginning to wonder if we should just move to Des Moines for the next 6 months.  We heard both babies heartbeats on the hand-held doppler today.  I also heard a lot of gas gurgling around in my belly.  Yes - because now, not only do I have vertigo but I have NOT  had a satisfying bowel movement in 3 days. (Thanks for Sharing Right? - SORRY) The gurgling was louder then their sweet little heartbeats!   Speaking of heartbeats, and not constipation - they continue to be in the 150 - 160 beats per minute range. WOHOO - My intuition still tells me that we will be blessed with one of each - but I have been surprised before and we will be happy with 2 very healthy babies. I was hoping for more pictures today - but will gladly wait until our next appointment on July 3rd, because it means that the babies heartbeats are healthy and we didn't need a picture.  And hopefully the babies will cooperate and we will know gender in just a few short weeks!

Tomorrow night, we will head to Des Moines.  We have decided to go out to dinner and to stay in a hotel before surgery.  I am hoping for a 7 am surgery time on Wednesday, but will know more tomorrow.  I will say, as it gets closer, the more nervous I get.   I am not nervous for me - but for the safety of the twins.  I wish that we could skip right over the next few weeks, right to 28 weeks.  Today, I am measuring 15 weeks pregnant - which I am told is great for carrying twins.  I also have been following my diet and lost 3 lbs.  Before you tell me that I am not supposed to loose weight in pregnancy - I will tell you that it is alright if I do.  During this pregnancy, I am to only gain 25 lbs.  Since that is what  a woman usually gains with 1 baby - I have to gain that with 2 babies.  I actually feel so much better following the diet without extra sugar, sodium or fat.  Who knew that was the secret to loosing weight? :) HA HA 

So - Wednesday is the cerclage surgery.  They are going to place a stitch in my cervix to help support the weight of the growing babies.  I continue to state that I will do anything to assist in their safety.  This week, I have thought a lot about Carter.  Because my due date is the same, where I am with these babies, was exactly where I was last year in my pregnancy with Carter.  I found myself with tears running down my face today, as I realized the seriousness of our situation and how difficult it is to carry one child with an incompetent cervix, and we are doing everything we can to carry 2.  I miss my Carter, and even though, I have my faith, my family, amazing doctors, and friends all in our corner, there is still a part of me that has doubts - that says "What IF?"  There are times that I am overwhelmed by the emotions of everything that has happened during the last year.  Sometimes, I wonder if I am strong enough, to put my fears behind me,  to remember that my faith is my fear that has said it's prayers.  I remind myself that fear is a dead end - but with faith, our future will be great.

So here is my THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - I continue to thank God every day for the blessings that we have been blessed with.  I do know that I would not be where I am today without that continued faith.  I saw a picture on Facebook today that said,  "God has a perfect plan for us.  He never does it all at once, but step by step, because He wants to teach us to 'Walk by Faith' and not by sight."  What a perfect thought for this week.  I will put my fear behind me, every doubt and every misfortune and I will walk by faith.

So, that is my story for the week - Des Moines tomorrow, Surgery Wednesday, Strict Bed Rest on Thursday and Friday, and hopefully will be able to start moving around again this weekend.  I will be ready to sit in the sun this weekend - so rain, please stay away!  I again want to thank you for the continued thoughts, prayers and love that you continue to bless Brennon and myself with.  Life is Amazing - Please remember to thank God for the blessings in your life.  I will walk with faith this week AND, if you are not busy,  I am always looking for someone to walk with me!  

See you next week!  Love, Melissa

Thought for Week #21 AND Weeks #22 and #23 of 2013 :)

A LITTLE LATE?  NOPE... A LOT LATE!  I suppose this means that I have to write 3 weeks in a row.  I am up early this morning.  The pregnancy train is chugging at me full force this morning.  I have already taken my medicine, made some decaf coffee, laid back down and dry heaved all over the bathroom.  Interesting day so far... 

On another note, I think I have to apologize for my horrible follow through when it comes to this blog.  I write for myself mostly.  I find it funny to believe that nothing ever changes, but when I look back over the weeks, everything changes.  I also write for my readers.  It amazes me how many views I get each week, and the emails from people I don't know, that are inspired by our story.  That being said, I really believe that I have to continue this blog experience.  BUT - Honestly, I am truly considering changing my weekly blog day to a day that is not Monday.  I am so exhausted by the time I get home at night, I can barely keep my eyes open - let alone, think about what I am going to write about it.  I guess we will see!  In the meantime - Let me   talk about my week in review -- okay my 3 weeks in review.

BABY - BABY - There's 2!

Week #9 - We had an ultrasound this week!  It continues to amaze me the growth between 7 weeks and 9 weeks.  I love seeing the babies at 7 weeks and hearing their tiny heartbeats.  And then at 9 weeks to see them moving and wiggling and their tiny arms and legs are forming.  The miracle never ceases to amaze me!  Baby A was always moving.  I find myself calling Baby A she.  So, I will -  until I find out the sex of the babies.  She was wiggling and moving.  We saw her little heartbeat at 161 per minute.  Baby B - I find myself calling Baby B he.  He was more laid back.  Not moving much at the time, but his heart beating away at 166 beats per minute.  I believe that Carter's heartbeat was 164 at this ultrasound.  Our ultrasound tech stated she was betting on a boy and a girl for us.  We promised that we would keep her up to date when we found out.

Friday, was a little scarier.  Everything was fine until I went to the bathroom and saw some discharge streaked with yellow!!!!  The emotions that I felt were indescribable.  I am sorry if this was to TMI :)  It brought me right back to the week prior to Carter being born and the signs of loosing my mucus plug.  Now, granted, I am only 10 weeks pregnant, but those feelings came back and my heart dropped. I called my doctor that just discharged me the day before - yep, he was on vacation in Hawaii.  And the no one answered the nurse line.  So I called Dr Lehman - yep, she was out until Tuesday.  Darn my luck, everytime I feel that I need to talk to my doctor, they are on vacation.  I talked to the triage nurse, who spoke to that doctor.  Take it easy.  If the discharge continues call and I could come in Monday.

Week #10 - Thankfully no more discharge!  And this is the week, that I was able to see Dr Lehman.  Don't worry - I made her check my cervix.  Even though, I know at 10 weeks, there is nothing they can do to save the babies, I needed piece of mind. I also know that if I miscarriage now it is because of the babies having a chromosomal problem not because of my body's ability to carry them.  But, I still needed piece of mind.  I am so thankful for my doctor.  She does whatever it takes to make me feel comfortable.  This included discussing the symptom train that seems to be a little worse with twins.  I love being pregnant, and I will be sick every day of this pregnancy if it means a healthy pregnancy for 2 precious babies.

And here we are at Week #11.  It continues to amaze me that this trimester is coming to and end.  I always heard moms say that the 2nd trimester was the easiest.  The first one, was a lot of hormonal changes, morning sickness and fatigue and that the 3rd trimester was filled with heartburn, uncomfortable positions and the inability to sleep.  But let me tell you, if I could skip right over the 2nd trimester and into the 3rd - I would in a heartbeat.  For me, the girl with the incompetent cervix, the 2nd trimester is the riskest time of pregnancy... the absolute scariest.  See the problem with an incompetent cervix is, there is no warning, there is no preterm labor, there are no signs.  There is only the moment that it happens. This is the trimester, that I know that my faith must be stronger then my fear.  I continue to believe that God is with me and these babies, and that my faith will carry me.  And, I continue to tell Him how scared I am.  And I continue to believe in my heart that good things await Brennon and I.

SO today, I am off work- and I am heading to Des Moines to meet with the perinatologist!  The high risk doctor, that will give me an ultrasound and a plan for the safety of my family.  I am excited for an ultrasound, and I am nervous for the plan.  But I will do what it takes to keep everyone safe.  The plan will involve surgery and a cerclage placed on my cervix to provide more support with the weight of these growing babies.....  I have been ready for this plan since I found out I was pregnant!

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?  My life is actually kinda boring right now - AND, I am completely okay with that.  Here is my weeks in review.

LOVE - My moodiness has got to be difficult to love.  I know this, and I am absolutely positive that Brennon knows this.  During the last few weeks, I have been taking it easy - which is not really that easy.  I haven't wanted to put extra strain or stress on my body, so my routine has pretty much been work, couch, bed.  Brennon has been a rockstar.  I know that he wants me to relax as much as possible, so he has taken over all of the household chores (except paying the bills - we're not there yet - :)  He does the laundry, cooks supper, cleans, mows, does yard work and is currently building a deck.  I appreciate him so much and I love what he is doing, but I think I miss it.  I miss the teamwork that we had doing things together.  I do have to say, Brennon is the best husband.  And even when I am moody, and forget to show my appreciation.... I know that I have it made!

FAMILY -   I have been able to see lots of family during the last few weeks.  On Memorial Day weekend, we spent our time with family.  I even went to Fairfield and picked up a sweet little puppy for my aunt and uncle... and everyone made their way to Iowa for the weekend.  It was great...exhausting but great.  Lots of food, lots of family and lots of love.

FRIENDS - We have also had some good times with friends.  We were able to have breakfast with Mike and Callie - we were able to see the Emily Turner and we were able to spend time with Evan while Larry and Summer were on vacation.  How much fun it would be to go to Jamaica?!  Although, I have decided that we may not be taking any vacations besides possibly the Henry Doorly Zoo during the next few years.... another thing, I am completely fine with.  Oh and before I forget  - Happy Birthday Kelly Busch!  I haven't seen you much lately, and we haven't talked - but I thought about you yesterday and hope you had a wonderful day!

FAITH - My motto during the last few weeks... "Let my faith be stronger then my fear."  This really has helped me during the last few weeks.  Every time I have become discouraged, every time I have had a crazy symptom, or wondered about the future.... I am reminded that my God does not leave me.  What a wonderful thought for the week!  My Thought for the Week - "Be strong and courageous.  Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God who goes with you.  He will not leave you or forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:6

I suppose that I should get up, off the computer and drag my pukey butt into the shower so we can leave for Des Moines.  I am only so excited about the traffic on I235 and the vertigo that is in full force this morning.  I can only imagine... Sorry B!  Anyway, praying for a great appointment - I will update you all later!  Have a wonderful and an absolutely blessed week!

I love you all - Melissa