Thought for Week #24 and Week #25 of 2013!

Here I go again - Writing for 2 weeks at a time because I am always exhausted... or maybe just lazy?  I will stick with exhausted - it sounds better then saying that I may or may not be lazy.

We have had a busy day... week.... life!  We seem to be busy, but yet, I feel like we really haven't done much.  Brennon has been busy with projects around the house, and I have been busy staying as stress-free as possible.  :)  These babies haven't been born yet and they already have us wrapped around their tiny fingers with their tiny fingernails - just beginning to grow this week.

Our babies did meet the 12 week mark last Saturday - Week #24.  I can only imagine how much they are growing.  As last week came to an end, I was reminded again how much these babies are making me ill.  I am pretty sure that morning sickness is supposed to be gone at the end of the first trimester - and here it is just showing up.  I have had horrible vertigo this week.  It makes me extremely nervous to drive out of town. Sorry Brennon, I guess you will continue to be my chauffeur.  

And here we are - Week #13 - Today, I had my 2nd appointment with the perinotologist in Des Moines for my pre-op appointment.  I am beginning to wonder if we should just move to Des Moines for the next 6 months.  We heard both babies heartbeats on the hand-held doppler today.  I also heard a lot of gas gurgling around in my belly.  Yes - because now, not only do I have vertigo but I have NOT  had a satisfying bowel movement in 3 days. (Thanks for Sharing Right? - SORRY) The gurgling was louder then their sweet little heartbeats!   Speaking of heartbeats, and not constipation - they continue to be in the 150 - 160 beats per minute range. WOHOO - My intuition still tells me that we will be blessed with one of each - but I have been surprised before and we will be happy with 2 very healthy babies. I was hoping for more pictures today - but will gladly wait until our next appointment on July 3rd, because it means that the babies heartbeats are healthy and we didn't need a picture.  And hopefully the babies will cooperate and we will know gender in just a few short weeks!

Tomorrow night, we will head to Des Moines.  We have decided to go out to dinner and to stay in a hotel before surgery.  I am hoping for a 7 am surgery time on Wednesday, but will know more tomorrow.  I will say, as it gets closer, the more nervous I get.   I am not nervous for me - but for the safety of the twins.  I wish that we could skip right over the next few weeks, right to 28 weeks.  Today, I am measuring 15 weeks pregnant - which I am told is great for carrying twins.  I also have been following my diet and lost 3 lbs.  Before you tell me that I am not supposed to loose weight in pregnancy - I will tell you that it is alright if I do.  During this pregnancy, I am to only gain 25 lbs.  Since that is what  a woman usually gains with 1 baby - I have to gain that with 2 babies.  I actually feel so much better following the diet without extra sugar, sodium or fat.  Who knew that was the secret to loosing weight? :) HA HA 

So - Wednesday is the cerclage surgery.  They are going to place a stitch in my cervix to help support the weight of the growing babies.  I continue to state that I will do anything to assist in their safety.  This week, I have thought a lot about Carter.  Because my due date is the same, where I am with these babies, was exactly where I was last year in my pregnancy with Carter.  I found myself with tears running down my face today, as I realized the seriousness of our situation and how difficult it is to carry one child with an incompetent cervix, and we are doing everything we can to carry 2.  I miss my Carter, and even though, I have my faith, my family, amazing doctors, and friends all in our corner, there is still a part of me that has doubts - that says "What IF?"  There are times that I am overwhelmed by the emotions of everything that has happened during the last year.  Sometimes, I wonder if I am strong enough, to put my fears behind me,  to remember that my faith is my fear that has said it's prayers.  I remind myself that fear is a dead end - but with faith, our future will be great.

So here is my THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK - I continue to thank God every day for the blessings that we have been blessed with.  I do know that I would not be where I am today without that continued faith.  I saw a picture on Facebook today that said,  "God has a perfect plan for us.  He never does it all at once, but step by step, because He wants to teach us to 'Walk by Faith' and not by sight."  What a perfect thought for this week.  I will put my fear behind me, every doubt and every misfortune and I will walk by faith.

So, that is my story for the week - Des Moines tomorrow, Surgery Wednesday, Strict Bed Rest on Thursday and Friday, and hopefully will be able to start moving around again this weekend.  I will be ready to sit in the sun this weekend - so rain, please stay away!  I again want to thank you for the continued thoughts, prayers and love that you continue to bless Brennon and myself with.  Life is Amazing - Please remember to thank God for the blessings in your life.  I will walk with faith this week AND, if you are not busy,  I am always looking for someone to walk with me!  

See you next week!  Love, Melissa