Wow! Can you believe that August is at the end of the week? Where does the time go. At the end of this week I will be 19 weeks pregnant. It really doesn't seem possible that I am halfway though the first and easiest part of my pregnancy. With saying that, I have realized that I truly am slacking on my blogging experience. I can only imagine what it will be like once these babies have arrived. Here is what's new in the Zellmer World!
Week #29 - During the past week - We did the great reveal! And as most of you know the babies are BOYS! I jokingly told Brennon that if we were going to try again to have a girl - we were going to adopt, as I didn't think I could ride this roller coaster again. Although, I have also said that we will never again decide how many children we will have, but take as many children as God blesses us with. (Watch out Duggers - Here come the Zellmer's) - AHH really, I am to old for that. :)
I was pumped that I was able to see so many family members during that weekend for the great reveal. It really do appreciate all the support from my family and it helps to see everyone when I am no longer able to travel long distances. I had a great time!
I continue to have weekly appointments with Dr Drake. I will have to tell you that I have had some stressful moments during this last week. I was supposed to go to the doctor on Thursday. AND, by Wednesday, I couldn't handle it anymore. (WARNING - TMI AHEAD) Skip over this paragraph if you need too. The UTI medicine wasn't working and Wednesday morning, I had projectile vomit all over the bathroom. Ceiling, Walls, Bathtub, Floor and Toilet... there was no way I could control the amount of vomit that was exiting my body. Here I was 5 minutes before I was to leave to work, on the bathroom floor, crying and cleaning up puke. While Brennon stood in the doorway holding a garbage bag while I tossed towels in. Following that, I was miserable. I actually wondered if I was having complications with the cerclage - I couldn't even sit correctly - A follow up phone call to the doctor's office and they said I could come right up. I was convinced the whole way to Des Moines that I would receive bad news. So much for a positive attitude! An ultrasound reported that my cervical length was 3.6 - WOOHOO - Not the 4.6 I had hopped for, but I had only lost a cm. So the babies were good, the cervix was good - what the heck was wrong. Yep, I was told that I didn't have a UTI. HMMMM - This all means to me that I should be feeling healthy - Right? Well - after an exam, they found that the lovely fishing wire cerclage had buried into my flesh on the inside. She went into to trim it and I promise I came off the table, and Brennon just stared at me. Instant relief. I do remember the rest of the week just feeling off, I am pretty sure I had anxiety most of the weekend.
And here we are at Monday #30 - Last week was pretty unenventful! I went to the doctor with a cervix length of 4.7 - I was so confused, I lost a cm last week, but gained again this week. I was told that some ultrasound techs go from tip to tip and let the computer measure, and she actually measures along the curve of the cervix. That is what varies the length. Overall, my cervix hasn't changed since my surgery. I find this interesting, so I just had to share. I did find out that I am measuring at 24 weeks.
I find that the symptom train showed back up. I am exhausted. I feel like I am in my first trimester all over again and all I want to do is sleep. My lower back hurts, my stomach throws my balance off, vertigo showed back up, and I am perfectly happy that my babies are healthy. I do remember praying for healthy family and reminding God that I would be sick every day of this pregnancy just to have a healthy full-term baby!
Lately, I find that every breath is a prayer. I wake every morning to thank God for my babies and then to pray that they are healthy and that my body continues to be strong enough to carry them. I ask God to take care of them and allow me the chance to be a good mother. To teach them all of the important things in life. I remember a quote I kept after Carter was born - It went "Dear God, I wanted to hold my little one in my arms and tell him about You. Since I can't, will You hold my little one and tell him about me?" That quote still make me cry. I know that God is in control, why do we as humans find it so hard to relinquish control? I had someone tell me Friday that worrying is also a sin. I now have tried to remind myself of that as well, and to enjoy my pregnancy. For I am truly blessed.
So I will continue to have faith - because as I remind myself daily - I have no control over this pregnancy. I can only do my part, which leaves me on modified bed rest and eating as healthy as I can. I am not God, and I can't see the future, therefore I must continue to pray and trust. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Our precious boys and my body's ability to carry them.
Have a great week! Melissa
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