and I am quickly loosing my toddler.
I enrolled Jase in preschool today, but not without my usual internal struggle.
The struggle of I don't want to hold him back... but I don't want to transition him before he is ready. That kind of struggle.
Prior to Jase being born premature, Brennon and I had discussed me working versus staying home and what day care we would choose. We talked about educational goals for our children, and we briefly discussed preschool and starting school, sports and social clubs. We wanted all of those things for our children.
When Jase and Kaleb were born so premature, all of those talks, well, they were just talk. No longer were we sure about our child's abilities. The future was just that, the future. It was unknown how Jase would develop, how he would grow, and what struggles he may have. We were told of the possibilities of disabilities ranging from none, to mild, to severe. The future of unknowns. Talks of school and daycare, gave way to supporting Jase's needs and hopes for the best future for our child. Surviving was our #1 goal.
It seems the future is here. Jase has been home with me for two years due to his chronic lung disease and immune system. We have done everything to ensure he stayed healthy during cold and flu seasons as well as accessing medical professionals weekly in Des Moines to ensure Jase is growing and developing with physical therapy. At times, I have struggled with the fact that he is so strongly attached to his Mama. I have struggled with the fact that he hasn't had a lot of opportunity to socialize with other children. I have struggled with the fact that he has horrible balance, that he doesn't move as fast or run as well as his peers. I have struggled with questions of "is he ready for school" or "should I home-school him for 3 year old preschool"? I then struggle with the thought, that keeping him out of preschool could hinder his learning and socialization even more?!
I know in my heart, we have made all of our decisions based on what is best for Jase. We have spent many nights discussing the benefits of the above struggles over the risk of being sick or setbacks in his development. SEE, I have struggled. Sometimes silly, but still an internal struggle of what is best for my child.
I know in my heart, we have made all of our decisions based on what is best for Jase. We have spent many nights discussing the benefits of the above struggles over the risk of being sick or setbacks in his development. SEE, I have struggled. Sometimes silly, but still an internal struggle of what is best for my child.
BUT,
Jase loves to learn. He loves his ABC's. He knows them all from A-Z. He loves counting 1-10 especially while climbing stairs. He sings the phonics song with us and is now learning his colors. Some kids want Elmo and Thomas the Train. My child wants letters and numbers. We have strongly encouraged play based learning at our house and Jase is like a sponge -learning and sharing everything. It seems that in testing Jase, his actual delays are still mostly in normal range for his age.
We have always followed Jase's lead on everything. Following his cues have helped us to ensure that he is successful in whatever he is trying to accomplish. We know Jase and we know he will tell us if he is or isn't ready, and we will listen.
We have always followed Jase's lead on everything. Following his cues have helped us to ensure that he is successful in whatever he is trying to accomplish. We know Jase and we know he will tell us if he is or isn't ready, and we will listen.
SO,
After long conversations with Brennon, a few opinions of our favorite professionals, and speaking to the preschool teachers, my child is officially enrolled in Preschool for Fall 2016.
AND,
I refuse to let my fears hinder my child. We refuse to do anything, but what is best for our child. We will give him every opportunity to succeed. We chose an amazing preschool with amazing teachers. I have no doubt that we will work together to facilitate an absolutely, amazing learning opportunity for our child.
Because I am 5% nervous for Jase and 95% excited for him. I am SUPER pumped. I am so excited that my child is going to preschool with other children. I am excited that my 23 week miracle is doing so well and that despite his prematurity, he is learning and growing at an amazing rate. I know that he is ready, but I am also excited that everyone involved, feels that he his ready too. I am excited for him to play with other children, for him to learn from other children and for him to grow in to the little boy that he is supposed to be. I am excited that he has overcome so many obstacles. It hasn't been easy but it has definitely been worth it.
Because I am 5% nervous for Jase and 95% excited for him. I am SUPER pumped. I am so excited that my child is going to preschool with other children. I am excited that my 23 week miracle is doing so well and that despite his prematurity, he is learning and growing at an amazing rate. I know that he is ready, but I am also excited that everyone involved, feels that he his ready too. I am excited for him to play with other children, for him to learn from other children and for him to grow in to the little boy that he is supposed to be. I am excited that he has overcome so many obstacles. It hasn't been easy but it has definitely been worth it.
All of our tears, all of our worries, have led us to this moment - and to the future. The future holds many tough decisions, but I feel confident in the decision we just made and in the decisions we will make in the future.
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