Growing Love, Growing My Faith.

May 2, 2017 - 

Today was my appointment with Dr Drake.  She is my high-risk doctor and is with Perinatal Services at Methodist.  I met her 5 years ago, in the hospital, after Carter was born.  I was in shock, denial - I was experiencing every stage of grief, as I cuddled my first born son, for the first and only day of his life.  I cried that I couldn't take it anymore, that I couldn't, I wouldn't do it again.

And she reassured me, I would want to have children.  I would do it again, because the love and the blessings outweighed the grief and pain.

Fast-forward a year, Brennon and I still had the desire to have a child. I had just found out I was pregnant.   After seeing my OB - the first referral made was to Dr Drake.


Knowing that a multiple pregnancy is different then a singleton
      We had a lot of what if's during our twin pregnancy.  I also had a cerclage with the twins, but because of the weight of two babies on my cervix, the cerclage broke, and I gave birth at 23 weeks.  I am still so very thankful for Dr Drake, because without her, our medical team and the NICU team,
we wouldn't have Jase.

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A few months ago, I saw Dr Drake in the Atrium at the Methodist Hospital.
She questioned me on why I hadn't come to see her again -
My typical response, no more babies coming from my belly.
I told her that although I would love to have more babies, I was unsure that I could handle the stress, the emotions, the possibility of another loss.
I mentioned our thoughts on adoption and left the conversation with a  hug.

Thinking that we were done growing our family the traditional way, God answered a prayer I didn't know that I had spoke.

And, here we are again - 4 years later.

12 Weeks 4 Days Pregnant 

and I am in Dr Drake's office.

Measuring - 12 Weeks
Heart Rate - 159

It is now that I realize that in growing this tiny life inside of me - I am also growing my faith.
As humans,  it is hard to sit by and wait for God's answer.  It is easy to worry, to struggle, to wonder where He is leading us. I wish I knew exactly how my fears, my questions were going to play out - in a situation,  in world that I can't control.  I'm trusting God today. No matter, what happens and when it happens, I know He is with me.

I am also praying for a full-term, healthy pregnancy.
BECAUSE,
I have seen miracles and I have held them in my arms.

God wouldn't have allowed it unless He had a purpose -
Don't just go through it - GROW through it.

"Blessed is she who believes that the Lord will fulfill His promises to her." Luke 1:45

When you speak positive things - Positive things happen.

Here are my affirmations for this week.

1. God is in control of this pregnancy.
2. I AM BLESSED.
3. I AM NO LONGER HIGH RISK.
4. I AM HEALED.
5. Have I mentioned - I AM BLESSED.
6. I am looking forward to holding this full-term baby in my arms.
7. God hears my prayers and knows the desires of my heart.

Today, at my appointment, my cervix and cervical length was good.

Tomorrow, I check into Iowa Methodist Medical Center and will have a procedure to place a cerclage around my cervix.  She is doing a double stitch this time.   Following the procedure, the doctors will monitor our baby and me for a few hours, and then send me home to strict bed rest until my next appointment.

NEXT UP:
Ultrasound next week - GENDER MAYBE??
We will also start progesterone shots at 16 weeks to prevent preterm later.
As, Dr Drake's nurse said, "She is throwing the book at you."
My response - "We will do whatever it takes to keep this little one safe."

I left my appointment hopeful that this is the pregnancy where we will leave the hospital with a full term baby.    Something I haven't been able to experience, but am prayerful that this is another opportunity that God has blessed us with.

I am even looking forward to the glucose test!

We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers, tomorrow and  during the weeks ahead as we do everything we can to keep this baby safe, putting our worries in God's keep, and surrounding ourself with positive affirmations of faith.

Baby's Profile :)

173 Days Until We Meet Baby Z -
I mean it little one - STAY PUT IN THERE!


Until next time -
Melissa

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