I posted a recipe the other day to my blog and realized that I haven't blogged in such a long time. I really do miss it - but we never seem to have the time to sit down and write. My house is picked up (sort of), the dishwasher has been started and the baby is asleep. I am going to take some time to write. It has been such a busy year that I can't really move forward without talking about all the things that happened in 2014 - So here is a 2014 Update - And a wish for happy, healthy, blog-filled 2015!
Here we go!! Our 2014 Highlights --
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| Jase and Nurse Brittany |
JANUARY - What an amazing month. Jase began 2014 in the NICU at Blank Children's Hospital. We were so thankful that we scrimped and saved so that Brennon could stay with Jase and I at the hospital since Jase and Kaleb's birth in September. We spent New Year's Eve in Jase's room, waiting for the ball to drop as a family. Of course, Jase slept right through his midnight feeding and Brennon and I made our wish for a happy and healthy year. 2013 had been such a year of emotions. Our first full year without Carter - the announcement of twins, the boys' births and saying goodbye to Kaleb. 2013 was one of the hardest years of my life, but also the most blessed. It is easy to look back on it now and say that we were blessed because we had three beautiful babies, one of which we could hold and love, and two that would forever be in our hearts. We had family who had went above and beyond to help us in anyway they could. Friends who loved us and prayed for us and acquaintances and strangers who poured love and blessings to us through Facebook, cards, letters and support. Jase had his hernias repaired January 7th and the only thing keeping Jase at the hospital was learning how to eat. They told us the entire time we were in the NICU that eating would seem to take forever because it would be the only thing holding us back from going home. I think that I had always prepared myself for a g-tube because he was a 23 week baby with immature lungs. Little did I know he would shock us all and declare that he could eat full bottles all with a little bit of oxygen support. We were so blessed to go home on January 19, 2014 - After 4 1/2 months of living at the Ronald McDonald House we were ready to go home. A home that I had not been to since going on hospital bed rest in August.
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| Dr Riley and Jase |
January 19th is just another day in history that I will never forget. It was the day we went home - but 4 months prior on September 19th, Kaleb also went home to be with Jesus. Both of my boys left the NICU on the 19th. How strange, that I always loved that they both went home on the 19th - each month it will have a special reminder in my heart. We said goodbye to doctors and nurses who we had gotten to know during our time at Blank. My heart will always be grateful for the people that gave me my world - who worked so hard to give me a gift that I would never be able to repay. Dr Riley was our admitting doctor on September 3, 2013 and he was our discharge doctor on January 19, 2014. Please don't tell him I put his picture on my blog - I had to promise not to put it on Facebook. We stood at the entrance/exit to the NICU, and I cried. Not because I was sad, not because I was scared or nervous, but because I was taking my baby home. Like I had said many times before, it was the first time I would take a baby to my home instead of handing him over to a funeral home employee. I knew what we needed to do next - We were going home to raise a baby into a little boy, into a young man who would know how much he was loved, cherished and blessed.
The first few days were overwhelming. I don't think Brennon and I slept much that first night. We cuddled and prayed and we thanked God for allowing us to start this next step in our journey. We spent the next two weeks at home - where oxygen tanks, saturation and oxygen monitors, 22 calorie formula and doctor appointments became our life. And honestly we were just thankful to be home.
FEBRUARY - Another very busy month. We were busy adjusting to our new life at home with a baby. A very special baby who many would consider to be medically fragile. We were home bound - meaning that we didn't go out with Jase unless it was for doctor appointments. Brennon was busy adjusting to going back to work full time and Jase and I were busy adjusting to life at home. I was officially a stay home mama and I have to admit I loved it - but wow did we miss Daddy! Jase saw Jill for Physical Therapy while we were in the hospital and we were extremely thankful to be able to continue that consistency for Jase by attending PT with her after discharge. He had his first follow up appointment with Jill in February and we had our first snow storm at home. Brennon was amazing and he got up with Jase many nights and I have to admit, after spending all day with Jase, it was nice for a little break!! In February, Jase had his very first (and so far only) Emergency Room Visit. A few days after his 4 month shots, he choked on his bottle and a few days later he was still wheezy, labored breathing and quick retractions. After albuterol treatments and a phone call to the pulmonologist, it was recommended to take him to the ER. Due to the snowy weather and unadvised travel to Des Moines, we made a trip to Greater Regional Medical Center because the pulmonologist was afraid he may have aspirated on his bottle. An hour later, we had an x-ray and a bottle in the ER, another albuterol treatment and Jase was better. Unknown what caused it, it was deemed a bronchospasm - but looking back he would have this every time he had shots. When we got home we realized it was Valentine's Day! It was the perfect day to cuddle and realize again how blessed we were.
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| Jase with Nurse Courtney |
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| Jase with Nurse Laci |
Jase had his follow up appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist and it was reported that his pulmonary valve stenosis had improved and we didn't have to return for 6 months. We were continuing with PT and the best news for Mama's birthday was from the pulmonologist - Jase could be off oxygen during the day! We couldn't wait to take pictures with a sweet little face free from oxygen tubes! We also visited the NICU and saw some of our favorite nurses. March was rough on Jase as he really struggled with his reflux this month - but no worries - we ended the month at 12 lbs 11.5 oz. March was also really tough on this Mama - the fear of cold and flu, kept us all home as much as possible and many days it felt like the walls of my house would close in on me. I couldn't wait for Daddy to come home so I could have a few minutes of alone time. Little did I realize at the time, I was also finally processing my grief of loosing Kaleb. I grieved from the moment we said goodbye, but in the rush of protecting, advocating and worrying about Jase I skipped many of those emotional steps of grieving. I have never been so thankful that I have such a supportive husband. I think the the stress must have gotten to both of us because this month was the only time in our relationship that I ever really remember going to bed mad at him. We never fought, but the days of being home, the isolation and loneliness of our friends and family was really getting to us. We celebrated my 34th birthday and prayed that nice weather would soon be here!
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| Jase in Daddy's Baby Clothes 3/10/14 |
APRIL - This month, Jase was 7 months old. If born on his due date, Jase would have been 3 months old and I would have been going back to work after maternity leave. The last 12 weeks flew by. Jase continued with physical therapy and I was busy driving him to his appointments twice a month. He was usually really excited to see Jill until he realized that she makes him work! He started working on the big orange ball. He is working rolling over and breathing with his diaphragm not his shoulders and we continued to massage all of those scars. When Jase was born, he was allowed to lay and breathe however he wanted to for survival. Now we were working on retraining his body to do it the right way. He also had his 6 month shots and although we didn't end up in the ER or Urgent Care - we knew that he would have a harder time breathing and we stayed ahead of the game by doing albuterol treatments every 4-6 hours. We still were home-bound, but we are looked forward to the day that we could go out and about and explore! We finally figured out that prilosec and zantac was the answer to Jase's reflux and we watched him eat huge amounts. We ended the month with many springtime walks outside. We loved to walk to Great Grandma's house and visit. We always took our oxygen because humidity and allergens were not good for Jase's lungs. In April, Jase started sitting in his high chair to play and he loves to watch mom and dad eat! Jase ended the month at 13 lbs 10 oz!!
MAY - Jase is 8 months old. Say WHAT? How was Jase 8 months old already? He loves playing with his daddy and he loves taking walks outside! We started the month by participating in the March of Dimes Walk for Babies at DMACC campus in Des Moines - We were so excited to share the day with our friends and family and celebrate babies. It was the first time that we took Jase somewhere that wasn't to a doctor or follow up appointment. Let's just say - I had the dip and dodge move down any time someone tried to touch him. Another exciting milestone, Jase rolled over! It was so amazing to see Jase meet those milestones that we wondered if he would ever meet. Babies that are born extremely premature are at risk for health and disabilities, and so far, Jase is doing everything we ask of him, just at a slower pace then most babies. I have to remind myself that if born on his due date - he would only be 4 months old. At the end of the month, Jase met family members that had yet to meet him, when we all got together for Memorial Day Weekend. We even had house guests and Jase loved spending time with all of his family. We were so thankful that Uncle Greg and Aunt Belinda could stay with us and all of our other family that met him. We even took a trip to the Freedom Rock in Greenfield as our first family outing out of town. It was a great month with Jase and we were pumped that we no longer had to be home-bound. We were very excited that Jase ended the month at 15 lbs and 3 oz!
JUNE - Jase had an amazing 9 month appointment in June. His growth curve, although compared to other children his age is low, but he continued to follow his own curve. And more exciting news - Jase could be of oxygen all the time now. Of course, we always monitored him closely, because a whiff of oxygen at night was nothing if it meant continued health and development. And with spring allergies and humidity, it was always a good thing to have around. We started taking Jase outside and introducing him to friends and family. Jase went to church for the very first time and loved hearing Pastor Tim preach. Emalie even took him down front for the children's message. He was amazed by the people and loved the music best. This month, Jase also started eating cereal - Jase loved his food.... I am so thankful that we waited to start cereal until Jase had started eating big amounts with his bottle allowing his belly longer to mature. I am so very thankful that we practiced eating and playing with our textured spoons and toothbrushes prior to starting cereal. Jase ate huge amounts with the bottle ending each day around 30 oz. We were excited to celebrate Father's Day and we took Daddy to Casa for dinner. I remember it being so odd that we were going out to eat with Jase. We were so used to being home bound, we forgot what it was like to eat in a restaurant. Jase began sitting "almost" unassisted. Jase ended the month at 16 lbs. :)
JULY - What an amazing month. We love the 4th of July! It was even better to be able to celebrate the day with Jase. He loved the parade and the BBQ with friends afterwards. The fire trucks were definitely his favorite! Jase got his first tooth and a week later Jase got his second tooth. This month, Brennon and I got our tattoo in memory of Kaleb - We were able to celebrate the wedding of James and Emalie in Des Moines. It was the first time Jase stayed in a hotel and he loved it. He was mesmerized by the fountain at the Sheraton and he loved meeting new family and playing with his cousins. At the end of the month, Jase was sitting all by himself and weighing in at 17 lbs 8 oz. 
AUGUST - No need to let his smiles fool you - Jase was all about crabby this month. He wanted to cuddle, sleep and chew on EVERYTHING! He even made me find creative ways to feed him because it hurt to eat. Yep, Jase was getting new teeth and I was close to feeding him with a medicine syringe. Two of his top teeth popped through and he was busy cutting a third tooth. By the end of the month, Jase had 5 teeth!! We were also blessed to tell Jase all about his brother Carter and we celebrated Carter's 2nd Birthday on August 21st. It is always hard not to have flashbacks from that day - and I am sure I will always replay the entire day, hour by hour and at some times minute by minute! We sent balloons to Heaven, ate cake and Carter sent Jase a present (Mom and Dad knew exactly what Carter would have bought Jase for his birthday.) We also spent the next day in Des Moines, going out to lunch, shopping and cooking enchiladas and tacos at the Ronald McDonald House. A big thanks to Uncle James and Aunt Emalie for helping us cook. We were also extremely busy planning Jase's birthday party. Jase was still growing and ended the month at 18 lbs 4 oz.
Some more of my favorite August Pictures!
This mama took Jase shopping with Grandma Lindley for Back to School Clothes - and just like when Mama was little - she talked Grandma into buying her some super cute clothes. We also had our last get together in Grandpa and Grandma Zellmer's house.
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JASE IS ONE! Calling all SUPER Heroes!
SEPTEMBER -
Jase and Kaleb Turn 1!
Lucky Jase... We began the month with a birthday party! He had a big birthday party with all of his family and friends on Labor Day Weekend and he had a small family birthday party on his September 3rd birthday! Jase couldn't forget about his brother Kaleb. We sent balloons to Heaven and Mama helped Jase write Kaleb a note telling him how much we missed him.
This month, we also celebrated Jase's "almost crawling" and waited for him to get his legs underneath him. He can kick, push, and roll really well. He also loved to stand with assistance. Jase had his 1 year appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist, the Eye Doctor and his Pediatrician. Good News September - Jase doesn't have to see the Cardiologist again until he is two. If everything is status quo he will be discharged from care at that time. Jase saw the Eye Doctor and it was reported that Jase's eye sight was perfect and we don't have to go back until he starts preschool. Jase continued to grow and grow! He continued to gain weight, but it was also noted, that Jase had his very first ear infection. This is what was causing the nasal congestion during the month. The congestion didn't slow Jase down - he was still smiling and rolling everywhere. He loved eating cereal and hated baby food unless Mama made it. His favorite foods were mashed potatoes and peas. Two weeks after the antibiotics for Jase's ears - we went back to the doctor due to congestion and to ensure that we stayed on the healthy train. We went to find out that he had another ear infection. We were extremely thankful that the congestion was only in his nose and sinuses and not his lungs. Jase got his 6th tooth and between the teething, congestion and ear infections. Jase was one tough cookie.
Such a bittersweet month. We are so very blessed to celebrate the boys' birth, but we also remember Kaleb. We miss him so much. The hardest part is watching Jase and knowing that he should have his brother here with him. We were supposed to cook at the Ronald McDonald House in honor of Kaleb and his angelversary - Due to Jase's ear infection, we felt it was best not to have him at the house and we ordered Jimmie Johns for all of the housemates. Next year for sure!!
OCTOBER - This month was all about food. He was all about the real food and wanted to put every food that we ate into his mouth. He loved cheese soup during this month, steak and potatoes, especially baked potato casserole. We were back the pulmonologist and he continues to be very happy with Jase's lungs and the progress he is making!
In October, we also remembered all the babies gone to soon. We lit candles for Carter and Kaleb. Because of Carter and Kaleb, we were blessed to meet another mom on Facebook who had triplets at 24 weeks, and said goodbye to two of her boys during this time. Jase and I thought it would be nice to light candles for them too, because their mama was still at Blank in the NICU with her sweet Joshua. It was a sweet and emotional day. I am so glad that we celebrate our babies every day, in everything we do. I am also thankful for special days like this. It reminds us that we are not alone and we must be a support to other moms and families that have had to experience this devestating heartbreak. Jase really took off army crawling this month and a short week later, Daddy, Jase and I watched a youtube video of a baby crawling to the computer and I kid you not, Jase did it! Of course, he was crawling to a dirty diaper. Halloween was on a PT day, so Jase dressed up as Charlie Brown for Jill. We also went to the pediatricians again, to find out that Jase had yet another ear infection. The poor kid's ears can't catch a break. Jase also dressed up and went to Grandma and Grandpa Zellmer's house and was really upset that he couldn't visit Grandma Lindley because she was sick. October flew by and Jase ended the month at 19 lbs and 31 inches long.
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| learning to crawl with youtube :) |
NOVEMBER - Jase was 19 lbs 3 oz at the beginning of the month - He was still growing and crawling everywhere. November was a great month to participate in the #30daysofthanks where we documented some of the most important things in our life that we were and are thankful for. A perfect time to remind ourselves that we are more thankful for the people in our lives then the things in our lives. I have to share, I never thought that I would be able to stay home from work and be a stay home mom. My paychecks paid the bills. I had not worked 16 months and we may not have everything we want but we have everything we need. We might have to stretch our money from week to week, or not go out to eat, but we have made it work. I am so blessed to be the biggest teacher in my son's life. November also means TURKEY - We were excited to spend Thanksgiving with family! Many of our family traveled back to Iowa to spend time together and it was a great time for us and for Jase. |
| Rock Bottom Brewery |
DECEMBER - This month came quickly. Jase is walking around everything and still suffering from crazy ear infections. After every antibiotic necessary, we met with an ENT and it was decided that Jase should have tubes in his ears. Daddy took his birthday off from work to spend the day in Des Moines with Jase and Mama at the doctor. I even put my fear of cold and flu behind me and allowed Jase to eat in a restaurant. We enjoyed Daddy's birthday lunch and Jase did great. Thankfully we chose a non-busy restaurant at a non-busy time. Then, on December 19th, Daddy and I took Jase to Des Moines to be at the surgery center by 6:30 am - Prep was quick at 6:45 and surgery was at 7 am. 15 minutes later the doctor came to say everything went well and Jase was ready for us. We were home that day by 9:15 am. I remember one of the nurses looking at me and telling me that I was surprisingly calm while my child fussed and refused his bottle. She then reported she never saw mama this together during a first time ear procedure. Brennon and I looked at each other and I told her that we spent 138 days in the NICU, with two surgery procedures, and many moments of intense praying that he would make it through the night, this was nothing. She looked at me and said, "you got this - if you are sure he will eat when you get home, just go." And on the road we went. We came home to quickly realize that Jase was cutting his bottom molars. Between ear infections, tubes and teeth, it was decided that mom and dad would never sleep again. But our child was healthy and happy so that was all that mattered.
Christmas at the Zellmer's.....Oh how wonderful it was to have Christmas at our house. To hear Jase's giggles and experience Christmas with him. And we are SO SO excited for many more celebrations with him. On Christmas Eve, Grandpa and Grandma Lindley, and Aunt Cynthia came for supper. Brennon did an amazing job with the prime rib and Jase got way to many toys, clothes and blankets. It was definitely more fun for us to give the gifts and watch Jase rip the paper, watch his facial expressions and spend time together then the actual presents! On Christmas Morning, we spent the morning with just Jase and he had a great time opening his present to Mama. Daddy helped Jase pick out pandora charms for Mama's bracelets - including a twin charm and an angel charm. Jase got his Daddy a personalized Daddy coffee mug. I don't think Daddy has drank coffee out of any other mug since Christmas. And on Christmas afternoon, we went to Grandpa and Grandma Zellmer's for appetizers and family. Jase and Bradie loved to play together and it was fun to see them and Lidia get excited over their gifts! And, there was absolutely no shortage of food. It was a great holiday.
And not only did we have a great Christmas with family but we also celebrated SHOULD HAVE BEEN Birthdays - It always amazed me that both of my pregnancies were conceived on the same day - making our due date the same day. How crazy was it to find out that Carter was due on December 28, 2012 but Jase and Kaleb were due December 28, 2013.
Brennon and I spent the day apart on April 8, 2014!!
What better way to celebrate Carter, Jase and Kaleb but with a SHOULD HAVE BEEN party. I mean this date is a date that they will have in common forever. And we had cake!
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| December 28, 2014 |
Look at the difference a year makes - 2014 was a year of blessings. It wasn't always easy but it was worth it. I remember many nights to exhausted to sleep, but to tired to do anything else - laying in bed wondering why this was my life. And as I sit here today as we embark on 2015, I realize that this is my journey and I wouldn't change it for anything! I can't wait to see what 2015 has in store for us. Praying for amazing blessings for all of our friends and family. Thank you for reading my blog - I decided that I wasn't the best about keeping a baby book - so this blog would remind me of the important milestones that happened this year. If you would like to follow more of Jase's journey - Join Prayers for Team Zellmer on Facebook. :) I hope we didn't bore you to much - Here's to 2015! Love, Melissa
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