Keep Calm and Stay in Bed.

Yesterday was my cerclage surgery.

I am so thankful this procedure is available, to help me provide a long and successful pregnancy for this baby.

I checked in at 10:45 am, and how lucky was I that they were ahead of schedule.

Prep was easy - some blood work, a quick iv with fluids, heart tones for the baby, and I was ready for a spinal.

12 pm - I was rolled into the operating room.

The crazy thing about this procedure - being wide awake.
Sit on the edge of bed, curve your spine as much as possible and hug the pillow.... Oh, and stay calm - very calm for the spinal procedure.

You then lay there, legs up,  wrapped in a blue curtain, and listen to the doctor and her OR nurse complete the procedure.  You talk to the OR nurse by your head and joke with the anesthesiologist.... and you pray.  You look at the overhead lights above you and you pray that this procedure will be successful.  You pray that you will do this, and your baby will be born full-term and healthy.  You remind yourself that you will endure this because of the love for your unborn child.  This child, who has also already become a huge part of your family, your future and your heart. 

I  remembered the last time I had this procedure with the twins.  The unknown and the fear that I felt lying in the room, listening to the same procedure.  I remembered while in the OR room, with my twin pregnancy, I had prayed that it would be the last time that I would have to do this surgery - and yet how thankful I am that I was able to have this surgery again.

12:38 pm - Wheeled into recovery.  Heart tones found for the baby (153 bpm).  I was so thankful for heart tones, a glass of water and graham crackers.  Last time, I was in recovery for 6 hours.  I was very grateful that it only took 3 hours to have enough movement to move my butt off the bed.  You would think that was easy.  It took me 3 hours to do it.  3 hours in recovery, where I laid, on my side of the curtain, and listened to the nurses around me ask patients to wake up from general anesthesia.  It is definitely a different experience.  I drank 8 jugs of water, with no urge to pee and tried to wiggle my toes as much as possible.  I watched my blood pressure cuff re-inflate and was hopeful to soon be in post-op so that I could at least talk to Brennon.

3:45 pm - Wheeled into post-op.  Brennon came down and brought me some trail mix.  I never liked trail mix before, but I could eat it every day now.  The salty peanuts and the sweet candy and raisins.  I use to hate raisins. Opps - I got a little off subject. :)  I checked Facebook!  Thank you so much for all of the prayers and messages yesterday.  It is greatly appreciated and it makes it so much easier when I know I have thoughts and prayers for me, my family and our baby.  Post-op was difficult.  I had feeling back in my waist, which lead to some crazy, crazy back pain, nauseous, some cramping and just not being able to be comfortable.  I finally realized  I probably shouldn't have drank another jug of water.... but let me tell you, I didn't need or want to be readmitted the next day because of a spinal headache.  I could tell that my bladder was full but I still didn't have the urge to pee or trust my legs to get me to the bathroom.

4:45 pm - Discharge instructions from my nurse before she went off duty.  The end was in sight.  I just needed to pee and walk.  5:05 pm - My bladder was ready to pee.  I graciously accepted some non-slip socks and found my way down the hall to the bathroom.  5:10 pm - I found myself back on the bed trying not to throw up.  

5:30 pm - Discharged and on my way to the lobby to the car.  It was not the most pleasant ride home, but I survived.  

I just have to say, I am so very thankful for my husband.  He is definitely one of a kind.  He took care of Jase when we got home, he tucked me into bed, and went to McDonalds to grab me a sandwich.  He put Jase to bed and let me sleep, waking up when Jase got upset at 2 am and fetching me tylenol and water at 3 am.  He is definitely one of my greatest blessings.

 I am thankful for all of my friends and family, who have watched and cared for my child during the surgery and in the days ahead while I am on bed rest.  I am thankful for everyone who has called and messaged me with positive thoughts and prayers.

I am thankful to God.  For answering a prayer I didn't know I wanted so badly.  Although, I was praying for a healthy baby through adoption, God answered my prayer with a healthy baby in my womb.  I am trusting fully, that he will care for this baby, that it is His will for a full-term, healthy baby for us to bring home.  I am trusting Him in this situation, because I can't control the outcome.  I can only control my actions in this pregnancy - a healthy diet, bed rest when needed, limited activity, following restrictions, trusting that my doctors know me and will treat me with best of their knowledge, and prayers to God.  I am at peace, because I trust.

And here I am today, heating pad on my back, tylenol, and my feet up. 

I have season 2 of Private Practice - a new book - ordering for the Elks done -

 and it is time to relax and allow this baby to grow.

Next week, I have another appointment with Dr Drake where she will do an ultrasound of my baby and check my cervix.  Hopefully, then I will be released to do limited activity.  I still can't stand for more then 2 hours at a time, or lift much, push or pull things - but I will be able to play with Jase, drive, visit friends and family, take Jase to PT and load the dishwasher. 

 Oh, wait, Brennon you didn't read that, I can't do any cleaning for the next 23 weeks!

This isn't the first time I have had to do this, but I am taking a few more precautions this time, knowing that my cerclage failed last time.  I will do everything in my power to keep this baby safe.  We will make every sacrifice financially to ensure that I don't work much  (ugh - I don't even want to think about paying bills).  Brennon will work a little more, I will relax a little more  (sorry Brennon).  I am pretty sure I will owe him BIG.  I should allow him the first month home with baby, off from night duty and diaper changes... Maybe?  I will make sacrifices of my own to make sure that I put the baby first by following my restrictions and staying healthy. I will trust my body and how I am feeling and I will stay faithful to God and his plan for our family.  

Thanks for following this journey with us. 

Thank you for all the love, support and prayers!

Melissa

Growing Love, Growing My Faith.

May 2, 2017 - 

Today was my appointment with Dr Drake.  She is my high-risk doctor and is with Perinatal Services at Methodist.  I met her 5 years ago, in the hospital, after Carter was born.  I was in shock, denial - I was experiencing every stage of grief, as I cuddled my first born son, for the first and only day of his life.  I cried that I couldn't take it anymore, that I couldn't, I wouldn't do it again.

And she reassured me, I would want to have children.  I would do it again, because the love and the blessings outweighed the grief and pain.

Fast-forward a year, Brennon and I still had the desire to have a child. I had just found out I was pregnant.   After seeing my OB - the first referral made was to Dr Drake.


Knowing that a multiple pregnancy is different then a singleton
      We had a lot of what if's during our twin pregnancy.  I also had a cerclage with the twins, but because of the weight of two babies on my cervix, the cerclage broke, and I gave birth at 23 weeks.  I am still so very thankful for Dr Drake, because without her, our medical team and the NICU team,
we wouldn't have Jase.

--------------------------------

A few months ago, I saw Dr Drake in the Atrium at the Methodist Hospital.
She questioned me on why I hadn't come to see her again -
My typical response, no more babies coming from my belly.
I told her that although I would love to have more babies, I was unsure that I could handle the stress, the emotions, the possibility of another loss.
I mentioned our thoughts on adoption and left the conversation with a  hug.

Thinking that we were done growing our family the traditional way, God answered a prayer I didn't know that I had spoke.

And, here we are again - 4 years later.

12 Weeks 4 Days Pregnant 

and I am in Dr Drake's office.

Measuring - 12 Weeks
Heart Rate - 159

It is now that I realize that in growing this tiny life inside of me - I am also growing my faith.
As humans,  it is hard to sit by and wait for God's answer.  It is easy to worry, to struggle, to wonder where He is leading us. I wish I knew exactly how my fears, my questions were going to play out - in a situation,  in world that I can't control.  I'm trusting God today. No matter, what happens and when it happens, I know He is with me.

I am also praying for a full-term, healthy pregnancy.
BECAUSE,
I have seen miracles and I have held them in my arms.

God wouldn't have allowed it unless He had a purpose -
Don't just go through it - GROW through it.

"Blessed is she who believes that the Lord will fulfill His promises to her." Luke 1:45

When you speak positive things - Positive things happen.

Here are my affirmations for this week.

1. God is in control of this pregnancy.
2. I AM BLESSED.
3. I AM NO LONGER HIGH RISK.
4. I AM HEALED.
5. Have I mentioned - I AM BLESSED.
6. I am looking forward to holding this full-term baby in my arms.
7. God hears my prayers and knows the desires of my heart.

Today, at my appointment, my cervix and cervical length was good.

Tomorrow, I check into Iowa Methodist Medical Center and will have a procedure to place a cerclage around my cervix.  She is doing a double stitch this time.   Following the procedure, the doctors will monitor our baby and me for a few hours, and then send me home to strict bed rest until my next appointment.

NEXT UP:
Ultrasound next week - GENDER MAYBE??
We will also start progesterone shots at 16 weeks to prevent preterm later.
As, Dr Drake's nurse said, "She is throwing the book at you."
My response - "We will do whatever it takes to keep this little one safe."

I left my appointment hopeful that this is the pregnancy where we will leave the hospital with a full term baby.    Something I haven't been able to experience, but am prayerful that this is another opportunity that God has blessed us with.

I am even looking forward to the glucose test!

We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers, tomorrow and  during the weeks ahead as we do everything we can to keep this baby safe, putting our worries in God's keep, and surrounding ourself with positive affirmations of faith.

Baby's Profile :)

173 Days Until We Meet Baby Z -
I mean it little one - STAY PUT IN THERE!


Until next time -
Melissa

SaveSave

A Very Baby Zellmer Update

The best part about my pregnancies is receiving a lot of ultrasounds.

It also means a lot of doctors appointments, but that is okay if I can see pictures of my sweet baby.

Today was considered my first OB appointment.

Look at this sweet baby - 

Measuring:  10 Weeks 5 Days

Heart rate: 161

I am still in shock that I am actually pregnant.

I was so adamant that there were no more babies coming out of me.

I was fine with adoption or even just foster care, so that we could open our homes for children in need while being a positive role model for their parents....

But honestly, I never thought I would get pregnant.

I had a doctor's appointment on March 5th with Dr Lehman.  We talked about PCOS,  the fact that I had lost weight, and the what ifs of pregnancy.  Little did we know, I was  pregnant.

God knew what our hearts needed.

Now that I am pregnant, I can't imagine our lives without this tiny one.

I have to do everything I can to keep this baby inside, safe and growing, because he or she is already a huge part of our family, our dreams and our future.

This pregnancy feels so different.  With Carter, I was unsure of what to feel.  With Jase and Kaleb, I was scared, and wasn't able to enjoy the pregnancy.  This time, I hope to document every bit of my full-term pregnancy.

Although, I have to say, after my appointment today, it is easy to worry.  There are so many things that could go wrong with this pregnancy.  But for now, I will put my faith in God and not worry until they tell me to worry.

I hope you will join me in this journey.

We are excited to share all the love, prayers and blessings which is this pregnancy!

Love, Melissa

This baby is craving sweets so what better treat then Cheesecake Factory.

.... And then there were 6

Jesus said, "All things are possible for he who believes."  Mark 9:23

WHAT?  

Really?  These tests must be outdated!

Followed by a Doctor Office Visit - where I was convinced I was in the process of menopause.

Nope, just another positive test....

AND, how about another appointment in Des Moines for  Blood Work and an Ultrasound.

 - AND - 

You have to be kidding me right?  After a bit of a shock and a slight (ok, HUGE) panic attack, it is starting to sink in that we are officially a family of 6.

Baby Zellmer Due November 10

(although I am still saying due date is 11/4 :))
Measuring 10 Weeks
Heart Rate 171

Let me just start by saying that this was not planned - I was adamant that there was no more babies coming out of my belly.  (Not planned - but still loved). Sometimes, God likes to remind us that He is in control.  That is my thought anyway.  For 20 years, I have been told that I would have difficulty becoming pregnant, that we would need doctor monitoring, pills and timed sex to have a family.

Well that didn't happen this time.  Just a few beers at the Sidetracked, a Facebook post from Brennon that says Sex Happens, and sperm meets egg.  At least that is how we have pieced together the conception month, because to be honest I have no idea how this happened.  (Well, I know how it happened, I'm just not sure when it happened.) Thanks for sharing - RIGHT?

And I didn't even realize what was going on for 10 weeks.  

So, here we are 10 - 11 weeks pregnant, and we are finally sinking into the idea that we are going to have a  baby.  It feels different this time.  Maybe because my body did it on it's own, maybe because I have a strong feeling it is a girl, or maybe it is because my body has had 4 years to recover from my last pregnancy, but I am not as worried this time.  

That being said, I am still taking every precaution to keep this baby healthy inside of me, including a cerclage, less work, and many, many doctor appointments.  Brennon has been my rock during the last few days.  He is first to remind me that we have been through everything, helicopter rides, baby loss, multiples, long NICU stays, infant loss, and health issues  and we are still standing strong.

So, if Jase has been spreading a rumor that there is a baby in mama's tummy.... That rumor is true.

We would appreciate any thoughts and prayers during the months ahead as we take it easy, pray much, rest often and believe in what is to be.

AND,

If anyone wants Royal Tickets this summer - Give me a call!

LOVE,

Brennon, Melissa, Carter, Jase, Kaleb and Baby Zellmer = Family of 6

Stay tuned as we add another egg to our basket!

Grilled Hawaiian Pizza

I love spring and summer... 

and, I love Grilled Pizza!

Here is my favorite...
Only 4 Weight Watcher Smart Points for a 1/8 piece.

(I am sharing pictures - Don't mind my ugly pizza pan - I can't seem to use my good pizza pans when just throwing a pizza on the grill!!)

Grilled Hawaiian Pizza

Ingredients:

1 Mama Mary's Thin and Crispy Pizza Crust
1/2 Cup Store Bought Pizza Sauce
2 Packages Hormel Canadian Bacon Slices
1 or 2 Cups of Fresh Pineapple, Cut and Diced
1 Cup of Mozzarella Part-Skim Finely Grated
Parsley
10 Sprays of Crisco Olive Oil Spray


Directions:

1.  Heat Grill -

(I alway encourage the use of gas grill because you can evenly grill the pizza crust.  You can use a charcoal and we do regularly, but it takes a little bit to master it.)

2. Remove Pizza Crust from Package.  Spritz both sides with Crisco Olive Oil Spray.

3.  Put Pizza Crust directly on the grill.  Grill 1 Side of Pizza for about 3 minutes or until you can see grill marks on the crust.

4.  Remove Pizza Crust from the grill.  On the side of the pizza you grilled, spread 1/2 cup of Pizza Sauce on crust, one package of Canadian Bacon and fresh Pineapple.




5.  Layer second package of Canadian Bacon on top of Pineapple.

(Optional, but we like the the extra meat and the entire package is only 3 points.)






6.  Top pizza with Mozzarella Cheese.  Sprinkle with Parsley.




7.  Grill bottom side of pizza until the cheese melts and the bottom of the pizza is grilled.

8.  Slide the Pizza in the oven on High Broil to make the cheese bubbly and gooey.

(Optional but recommended.)  Do this for 2-3 minutes but keep an eye on it so that the cheese doesn't burn.



The above recipe is -
Weight Watcher Smart Points:
1/8 Pizza - 4 Points
1/4 Pizza - 9 Points
1/2 Pizza - 18 Points



Substitutions:

You may substitute canned pineapple chunks.  You will want to drain very well. The juice of the can will make the crust soggy.

It is also good with ham or slices of turkey ham.

ENJOY!!

I'm Just Winging It.

I have the urge to write...

I'm just not sure what to write about.

I started out by thinking about everything I did today.  

Let me tell you - it was extensive!  

1.  I had coffee.

2.  I sent a message to new friend on Facebook. ( If you pray, please send a prayer for my friend and her husband as they recently said goodbye to their sweet baby.)  I pondered starting a Facebook page for grieving Mama's and I checked out the Molly Bear's Website  (www.mollybears.com)  and then I thought about my boys.  I can't help but think about how different life would be with all 3 of my boys with me... and I wouldn't be telling the truth, if I didn't tell you that I think about it multiple times a day.

3.  I had a discussion with Jase about the importance of toilet paper.  Let me tell you 100 things that no one tells you that you will say when having a boy.... (but that is for another day).

4.  I made a grocery list.

5.  I carefully considered how to manipulate my husband into getting me another cup of coffee so I didn't have to get off the couch.

6.  I checked out my yoga pants and wondered if that was chocolate Jase wiped on my knee.

7.  I updated my grocery list.

I went to HyVee -  This was the outing of my day.

Let me tell you a secret - 

I am pretty sure I finally (and successfully) pulled off bed-head in the grocery store today - - followed by make up that was covering up yesterday's make - up.  Hey don't judge.  I fell asleep cuddling with Jase at 8 pm last night.  I did brush my teeth this morning.... (I think?)  Yes - Yes I did!

8.  The little carts at the grocery store should be banned. I have a strong dislike for the little carts in the grocery store.

Did you ever think that grocery shopping by yourself would be the highlight of your day?

HAVE KIDS :)

I wondered if I left my cart in isle 6 and went to the car, if Brennon and Jase would notice?

I also realized I hadn't looked at my list once.

9.  I looked through my phone for the grocery list while I secretly snuck snacks out of Jase's grocery cart when he wasn't looking.

10.  I consistenly appologized to strangers as my child attempted to hit them in the back of the legs with the grocery cart because he wasn't paying attention.  Did I forget to mention that the little carts at the grocery store are the end of all good things?

9.  I sat at the child's table at the grocery store and colored pictures with Jase while Brennon paid the bill.

I randomly noticed the 4 year old standing by her mom in the checkout,  as she obviously wondered why I could sit on the floor and color in the store, when her mom told her no.

11. I took a deep breath as Jase carried in groceries, even though he fell on the bread.  Because I know that the fact that he was carrying in groceries was more important then my already weak 45 calorie bread.

12.  I pondered water retention and the fact that I had gained 5 lbs overnight when I have been religiously eating 45 calorie bread. Oh, and that huge piece of chocolate cake from Costco yesterday.

13.  I made sandwiches for lunch (with my 45 calorie bread and carefully measured out 1 tbsp of fat free mayo with 1 oz of roast beef)  while secretly thinking about my husbands piled high roast beef on rye with real Hellman's mayo and Jase's cheese Pringles.  

14.  I snuck a bite of macaroni and cheese off of Jase's plate.  I considered tracking it, and snuck another bite. ( I felt guilty about sneaking the food and tracked it in my handy Weight Watchers app.)

15. I checked my phone.  No calls today.

16.  Jase asked me to take a nap with him.  This was the best offer of my day followed by the reminder that I would have to watch "The Purple Guy" for the 100th time this week.  (The purple guy is also known as the movie "HOME".)

17.  I shut the television off as soon as Jase fell asleep and drifted off into sleep.

MY PHONE RANG.  I ignored it.

 MY PHONE DINGED - It was  text message.

MY PHONE DINGED AGAIN - A reminder that I had a text message.

I just wanted a nap.

18.  I pondered vodka.  Is it to early for vodka?  I drank diet ginger ale.  It is better with vodka.

19.  I thought about dinner.  I ate a banana.  I thought about dinner again.  I drank some water.  I pondered dinner and asked if we could eat dinner early tonight.  I thought 4 pm was acceptable.  Brennon said no.  I drank some more water.  

20.  I had to pee.  I thought about my conversation with Jase earlier about the importance of toilet paper.  I really had to pee.

21.  We made dinner.  My child whined.  I allowed him to watch the iPad during dinner (mother of the year) while complaining about children watching iPad's at dinner.

 I took away the iPad.  I listened to my child whine.

I did not care.  Ok, I cared a little.

I wanted to wine too....  

I also wanted a family dinner without youtube kids.

22.   I attempted to clean the kitchen.

We put Jase into pajama's ... Let's be real, Brennon put Jase in pajamas.  

Brennon is the best at night time routine.

I sat down to write and watch the Cubs/Cardinals game.  Brennon is a Cubs fan.  I am a Royals fan.  It doesn't really matter, because Opening Night is finally here.  I love baseball.  Here is to 2017 being the year that the Royals and Cubs play each other in the World Series.

Did I mention that we have tickets to watch the Royals game in just a few weeks?

23.  MY COMPUTER JUST DIED WHILE WRITING THIS BLOG.  I had a slight panic attack that I would have to rewrite the excitement of my day all over again.

-- No worries, it was saved.

24.  I read Brennon my blog.  He announced that he had put the snacks in Jase's little cart.  Have I mentioned that I really dislike those little carts?

25.  Jase asked for a glass of chocolate milk.  I am beginning to wonder if 4 cups of chocolate milk since dinner is a little to much?  I got myself a glass of water.

This goes with out saying, but I am pretty thankful for pull-ups at night.

26.    Isn't it strange how 8 glasses of water day seem impossible, but 8 glasses of wine with dinner seems like a good idea?  (No, seriously I haven't been drinking, I just saw a funny meme and had a good giggle and then I thought about wine. Really do you know how many weight watcher smart points is in wine?  Enough said.)

27.  Well, I guess that it is it for the day.  I am officially going to take a shower, for as long as I want, using all the hot water and then change into a new pair of yoga pants.  I may even break out the fancy shower gel instead of the Paw Patrol Bath Wash next to the shower.

 Let me tell you, I am living the life.

AND then, I am going to cuddle that sweet little boy of mine, and take a moment to thank God for all He has blessed me with.  I am going to take a moment and pray for all the things that I currently take for granted  because even on the craziest day, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

28.  Really, I don't have anything to say, my OCD just couldn't allow me to end this blog with an odd number.  ....

Until next time, THAT's ALL FOLKS.

  

I'll leave you with a couple of recent pictures of Jase at preschool.
Just because...
I'm beginning to think that this little human acts a lot like his mom.

SaveSaveSaveSave

Chicken Taco Soup

12-6-17 - UPDATED .... with the new Weight Watcher Freestyle Program this recipe is 0 points.
If you want to add a can of chili beans (15 oz) it is 2 points per serving!


I love the original Weight Watchers Taco Soup recipe....
                              but sometimes, I get tired of using hamburger or ground turkey!

So, tonight I chose shredded chicken instead of hamburger. My family loved it and it is my new favorite. Jase even asked for seconds...

Here is the recipe -

1 Whole Chicken Breast (Shredded)
1 Medium Onion (Diced)
1 package of  Ranch Seasoning
1 package of Taco Seasoning
1 Can of Corn
2 Can of Pinto Beans
1 Can of Black Beans (Low Sodium)
1 Can of Diced Tomatoes (Low Sodium)
1 Can of Diced Tomatoes with Green Chilies
1/2 Lime Freshly Squeezed (OPTIONAL but AMAZING)

Optional: 1 Can of Chili Beans - Add 2 smart points per serving!

Serves: 8
1 Serving = 0 Smart Points


1. Bring 4 cups of water to boil.  Add 1 thawed chicken breast to the water.  Cook chicken completely (or grill chicken).  Drain and Shred.  Season liberally with parsley, paprika, and garlic powder.  I always add fresh cilantro and fresh parsley if I have it on hand.

2.  Return Chicken to pot.  Add the rest of the ingredients.  Do not drain the cans.  (I only use 1/2 package of the ranch seasoning and 1/2 package of the taco seasoning to keep the sodium levels down.)

3.  Simmer for 1 hour.

4. Serve with tortilla shells, shredded cheese, low-fat sour cream or freshly squeezed lime juice.



I love to tear up half of a tortilla shell (3 points) and add freshly squeezed lime for extra flavor to my soup.  My husband likes fresh lime juice, shredded cheese (4 points)  and sour cream (2 points) in his soup!

As always, feel free to add or delete ingrediants according to your taste!

Enjoy!